Healing Shame and Trauma
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
– J.R.R. Tolkien
It’s no surprise that many people are experiencing anxiety, depression and other issues lately. The sense of instability is ramping up again as our collective and individual waters are being stirred and shaken.
There is an intensity that is deeply felt, a churning from within that is compelling evolution…like diamonds, which are formed in conditions of immense intensity and pressure, human beings are being subject to great forces of change.
I notice many people have been experiencing a re-activation of the trauma of 2020 – and no wonder. This is another election year, and the glial cells in our brains remember that time. They’re on fire once again.
The thing is, trauma re-activation brings to the surface what has been repressed/suppressed/relegated to the unconscious. And because things have generally been overwhelming and hard to keep up with for the past 4 years, much has remained unprocessed in our lives.
Symptoms of shame and trauma:
- isolation
- feelings of worthlessness
- strong inner critic
- feelings of powerlessness
- disassociation/numbness
- fawning/clinging
- lashing out
- witholding
- upset stomach
- pounding heart
- nightmares
- fear/anxiety/panic
- confusion
- negative view of the world
- loss of interest in activities
- pervasive sadness
- feelings of guilt
- headache
- trembling
- shortness of breath/shallow breathing
- trouble sleeping
- narrow/rigid thinking
Did you know…
Unresolved trauma keeps the past alive, and shame keeps trauma in the present.
There are numerous accounts of soldiers who hid out in the jungle in Japan during WWII. DECADES after the end of the war they were still in the woods, living as though the threat to their life was constant and imminent.
In fact, the war had long ceased and people were rebuilding society and living peacefully among each other, but because these hideouts didn’t know the war was over, they essentially remained stuck in a holding pattern.
This is analogous to what happens in our brains and psyches when trauma remains unresolved. The 5 year old within still believes and acts as though the abuse or neglect is happening – as a result, the 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 year old adult is inhibited, living life at partial capacity and only reaching a fraction of his or her potential.
The truth is, we are only as fast as our slowest part.
If there’s something inside that has not come out of the woods to realize that the world is safe, the whole of us remains partially, or fully, hidden.
The collective and individual traumas from the past that lodge themselves in our nervous systems carry a charge that, until renegotiated and resolved, can make things feel intolerable to the point of severe overwhelm or severe underwhelm.
There is hope. I care, and I want to help.
In each of us there is immeasurable vitality. Getting unstuck and re-vitalizing our potential in a safe and personalized journey of healing and renegotiating the psychology and physiology of shame and trauma is the key to living fully.
Signs of Healthy Shame and Resilience:
- self-compassion
- healthy boundaries
- responsibility
- feelings of belonging
- creative flow
- ability to see the big picture
- a sense of hope
- seeing possibilities
- humor
- re-engagement
- nurturing relationships
- clarity in decision making
- belief in self
- enhanced health and mood
- quality sleep
- acceptance
- ability to feel and move through emotions with ease
- and many more!
Many years ago, I had a shame/trauma breakthrough that changed my life in a profound and pleasant way. I was inspired to rigorously study several trauma and shame healing modalities, and have been offering trauma and shame healing in my practice for years.
In my private sessions, I create a safe space for clients to explore and release their own shame and trauma in the most safe and liberating ways. As much as possible, I endeavor to flatten the hierarchy of counseling relationships through my own empathy and sharing.
The intention is for you to leave each session feeling seen, held and unburdened. New tools and inspiration bring vitality and resilience to your life that you never thought possible, and balance in your autonomy and sense of belonging. Learn more about Coaching/Counseling HERE
I love what I do and would love to help you and your friends and loved ones to feel better from the inside out. If you or anyone you know is experiencing any symptoms, please forward this newsletter and reach out to discuss how we can support your wellness.
Come as you are. All of you is welcome here.
